Looking for the real dirt on your favorite costume-clad celebs? You’re in the right place, as the delectable Rosie Knight keeps us on top of the fights, flings and latest DCU gossip in this sensationally savage column.
Hello from the ivory towers of my new room in the Justice League Watchtower! I had to move out of my old place after a rogue Amazo made a wrong turn and turned my two-bedroom beauty into a studio that wasn't even fit for habitation by Scruffy the Tramp—I know his name is problematic, but it was the Golden Age, dahling, almost everything was problematic. Anyway, now I'm up here in the depths of space subletting a room from Superman's cosmic cleaner, just hoping that he doesn't use his x-ray vision to find out he's got an extra tenant. The good news is that from here I've been able to see all the shocking shenanigans sweeping our solar system, like the absolute desperation of Darkseid and his pursuit of the ultimate power. Some of us are just trying to pay our rent, Uxas, we don't have time for your universe-creating existential crisis!!
REPORT: SUPERMAN FINALLY STOPPED GATEKEEPING THE JUSTICE LEAGUE
For far too long it's been unclear to all of us everyday, non-powered citizens how the god-like heroes among us choose who gets to be on the Justice League. But no matter what their process or era, from Detroit and International to the New 52 and Infinite Frontier, it's usually a pretty select group. After the events that we barely managed to survive during what the cool kids are calling Absolute Power, Superman made a choice that the most famous team on the block was looking a little limited and needed a li’l more juice. And that's why we've now got the Unlimited moniker back in action with heroes as broad as Booster Gold, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Mr. Terrific and more all stuffing fancy new powered-up Justice League Unlimited membership cards in their wallets.
What does this mean for me and my temporary arrangement in the Watchtower? Well, I'm hoping all the new bodies will make it easier for me to sneak around unnoticed. What does it mean for the DC Universe? Well, you'll be able to pick up a brand-new periodical about the team from superstar DC historians Mark Waid and Dan Mora beginning November 27th!
RUMOR: DARKSEID IS…DEAD?!? OR IS HE…?
If you recall, I was praising Darkseid last month after he let Batman walk away with a Boom Tube because, as everyone knows, I adore a generous gift giver. But I must now apologize for that support as he's once again shown his true self, perhaps more than ever before. The whole thing came after opening up about his existential anguish at the lack of power he's felt since the end of the Multiverse. I'd say tell it to your therapist, big boy. Or maybe not since Darkseid’s own son tried to offer a helping hand and he was killed as a thank you. Honestly, I'm not advising anyone to be near Darkseid right now.
Anyway, all of that is to say in one of his wildest moves yet I'm hearing that the gray galoot merged with the Spectre, becoming Death and then becoming one with the Universe itself. He allowed his scheming to transform him into something more than the leader of Apokolips and a bigger threat than we could have ever imagined. We all get emo sometimes, sir. Yet somehow we don't all create a new pocket universe, we just listen to My Chemical Romance and cry over XL Chunky Chicken combo meals until we feel better. But you do you, babe.
ITEM: WE ARE ABSOLUTELY SCREWED (IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE)
Believe it or not, that’s only the beginning of the Darkseid drama this month! After becoming Death and seeping into the fabric of the cosmos, it turns out he’s managed to create his very own universe! Now I haven't been able to visit it myself, seeing as it's outside of my canonical and classy space in the DCU. But one of my deep cover do-gooders on the other side has fed me some shocking information.
It turns out that Darkseid has managed to craft an alternate pocket universe where he's the central deity of vibes that everything revolves around. You know, kind of similar to our beloved big blue boy scout—only far more genocidal. I'm feeling extremely sorry for everyone who lives there as us poor DC denizens who do live under the watchful eye of Superman have it tough enough. Imagine how grim and gritty it'll get in a world where Wonder Woman was raised in Hell? (Though, I must say, that is rather badass.)
Sadly, I've looked into it and unless my publisher will stop being so cheap and spring for a business class ticket to the Absolute Universe, you won't hear any more about it from me. Perhaps my Absolute Bizarro-self—Knosy Right—has a column there to keep her fellow PUPLUDs (Put Upon People Living Under Darkseid) up to date.
Anyway, I'm Rosie Knight (Prime Earth) signing off before they try to give me a Justice League card—my social schedule is far too stacked for that—as always reminding you to spread the word…as long as you tell me first!
Rosie Knight is an award-winning journalist and author who loves Swamp Thing, the DC Cosmic and writing the monthly gossip column here at DC.com. You can also listen to her waxing lyrical about comics, movies and more each week as she co-hosts Crooked Media's pop-culture podcast, X-Ray Vision.
NOTE: The views and opinions expressed in this feature are solely those of Rosie Knight and do not necessarily reflect those of DC or Warner Bros. Discovery, nor should they be read as confirmation or denial of future DC plans.
