What's that in the air? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's love, of course! Yes, my darling DC dearies, it's Valentine's Day, which means for this month’s Dish, I’m serving up a little survey of all the romantic rumblings I'm hearing about your favorite heroes!

Naturally, I've had a little help, this time from the rom-com inspired pages of DC’s How to Lose a Guy Gardner in 10 Days. But don’t you worry if you’ve gotten the jump on this month’s good gossip and have read it yourself, your fave writer and all around Diva of Deliciousness is here to add extra context, chaos and a little bit of cattiness to this year’s V-Day happenings. And if you enjoy it, well…I’m just going to say that I’m a fan of both flowers and chocolates and am tired of being ghosted by the likes of the Phantom Stranger after only one date at Jitters! What's wrong with me? Surely, I'm a better date than the Blue Devil? Or maybe that name refers to him being a devil in b—

You know, let’s just move on to this month’s column!
 

SCOOP: Vicki Vale and Guy Gardner Take an Oath…to Each Other?

I prefer to not dignify the competition, especially when their resume is so pedestrian, but word around the newsroom is that Gotham Gazette reporter Vicki Vale has been slacking off at the keyboard as she takes to the town with a new beau. This isn't just any beau, of course. She's been seen gallivanting around the globe with the most detestable Green Lantern of Sector 2814. Yes, I'm referring to none other than the green gorilla better known as Guy Gardner.

Sure, he might know how to fill out a vest, but this willful brute isn't exactly renowned for his manners or decorum. In fact, word is that Vicki's ex, beautiful billionaire boy toy Bruce Wayne, will be pressing charges against Gardner for damaging his custom luxury skybox during last weekend's Gotham Knights game. Say, how much do the Guardians of Oa even pay? Can this jade jock afford a decent lawyer?
 

ITEM: Red Tornado’s New AI Amore

Speaking of Gotham and lawsuits, my distinguished friends in the legal sector tell me that a new class action blockbuster case has just been filed in the Grim Apple. The defendants in this shocker include none other than Waynetech alongside artificial intelligence pioneer Dr. Kate Sutton and mechanical innovator Dr. Will Magnus. It would seem that the respected researchers cut corners in their latest project financed by Waynetech, spending more time staring into each other's eyes than dutifully parsing data.

Let’s be real, our bad boy Bruce can likely settle the case with whatever cash has fallen under the seats in his second Ferrari, but the interesting thing here is that another relationship may have been blooming while Sutton and Magnus were distracted, and I hear this one involves the apple-colored android known as Red Tornado and the pretty little product of the two researchers’ work. Can two artificial intelligences fall into actual love? Hey, it’s bound to be more real than my last six relationships proved to be, so who am I to judge?
 

RUMOR: Stolen Jewels, Stolen Hearts

But on the subject of something much less surprising, the Justice League's golden boy has just seen his latest venture go bust in record time. I can't peek into the future, but even I could've predicted the early demise of Booster Gold's Golden Pairs dating course. The online buzz was bad from the start and it seems like things only got worse when Booster himself got involved as a “dating coach” to burgeoning couples.

Still, if there’s one thing Booster knows, it’s the value of time, so he seems to be wasting none of it in cutting his losses and moving on. Breaking reports indicate that he's become interested in investment opportunities at sea, snatching up a few small ocean-faring operations that specialize in sonar and other monitoring capabilities. Why? The splashy rumor here is that his heart may have been stolen by the hard-to-get hottie who caused his new venture to implode—a heart-stealing thief known as the Marine Marauder. Unfortunately, she’s set sail for parts unknown, leaving Booster alone and searching for her. Will he be successful in seeking her out? Only (mari)time will tell, but perhaps someone should tell him there are other fish in the sea.
 

CONTROVERSY: A Love That Stands the Test of Time, But Can Time Stand the Test of Their Love?

Barry, Barry, Barry, didn't anyone tell you that using the Speed Force for personal gain isn't ever going to work out? Surely that fine Garrick fellow must have imparted that lesson by now. I realize you may feel like you're doing your best Bill Murray in Groundhog Day impression, but even his methods were pretty questionable. And as my colleagues writing our relationship column will tell you, it's better to get to know someone naturally than force them to relive your first date over and over again.

Still, you know what? Your heart's in the right place and your relationship with Iris West may really go the distance, so I'll let it go this time. If there’s a second date, however, just listen to your lovely companion and don't create an infinite time loop, okay?
 

Sure, there were a few more dates taking place in the DCU this week (I mean, is anyone more #couplegoals than Nightwing and Batgirl?), but romance is best with a little mystery, so I’m going to let you do the digging on those ones yourself. But if you've got a hot tip—or an expensive gift that needs a recipient—you know where to send it! Until next time, readers, this is Rosie Knight reminding you to spread the word…as long as you tell me first!!
 

DC’s How to Lose a Guy Gardner in 10 Days is now available in print and digital. And for more February 14^th fun, check out our complete Valentine’s Day collection!

Rosie Knight is an award-winning journalist and author who loves Swamp Thing, the DC Cosmic and writing the monthly gossip column here at DC.com. You can also listen to her waxing lyrical about comics, movies and more each week as she co-hosts Crooked Media's pop-culture podcast, X-Ray Vision.

NOTE: The views and opinions expressed in this feature are solely those of Rosie Knight and do not necessarily reflect those of DC or Warner Bros. Discovery, nor should they be read as confirmation or denial of future DC plans.