The first three episodes of Peacemaker have arrived on HBO Max, and I have so many thoughts and questions…like did Peacemaker’s dad actually have to walk Eagly? How many times does Peacemaker call John Economos “dyebeard”? And which member of the team had the filthiest mouth?

Now that we’ve all had a chance to absorb DC’s outrageous new TV series, it made sense to break things down a bit and see if we can find some answers to those questions and others. (Though, also, I just wanted to talk about that insane title sequence, which may be the greatest thing in the history of DC.) Here’s some of what went down in the Peacemaker premiere, along with what it all might mean.

• The Peacemaker premiere dropped 220 f-bombs in the name of peace! The first episode had 65 f-bombs, the second had 85, and the third had 70. In fact, we’d already gotten ten of them before the theme song started playing in the first episode! Sometimes the road to peace requires harsh language.
   
• Here’s a breakdown of which characters had the filthiest mouths. Peacemaker dropped 104 f-bombs, Harcourt dropped 23, Economos had 17, Vigilante dropped 16, Auggie dropped 13, Amber had 9, her husband Evan had 8, Adebayo had 8, Murn dropped 5, the band Nashville Pussy sang 3, Jamil the janitor dropped 3, the prisoner sitting in Auggie’s spot dropped 3, one of the bar patrons had 3, Judomaster had 2, Detective Fitzgibbon dropped 1, a prisoner dropped 1, Auggie’s weird neighbor dropped 1, and the barfly who Harcourt rejected had 1. Don’t watch this in front of your kids, kids.
   
• Peacemaker is probably the first superhero show to open with the lead character trying to appeal to a janitor by reminding him of the time they smoked weed together. Unless that happened in an episode of the 1966 Batman show that I missed.

• There is a fascinating untold story behind Jamil the janitor. He went to M.I.T. but chose a life of mopping floors because he hates pressure. James Gunn, if you’re not too busy can we get a Jamil prequel?
   
• I’ve read hundreds of Aquaman comics, and I can tell you that there is no truth to the outrageous accusations Peacemaker makes about Aquaman and fish. Lesson learned, don’t believe everything you read on social media.
   
• If you want to go back and see John Cena’s butt, the timestamp is 5:00. You’re welcome.
   
• There is so much going on with this theme song sequence and I don’t even know where to begin. First off, thank you James Gunn for giving this show a theme song—I miss title sequences. The dancing is awesome, the set is outrageous, and the expressionless faces everyone has are hilarious. The cherry on top is Peacemaker lifting up Judomaster like they’re in Dirty Dancing as Eagly lands for the grand finale. Yes, HBO Max, I really want to taste it.

• The series takes place in a city called Evergreen, and believe it or not, it is a real DC Comics city. Evergreen first appeared in 1967’s Green Lantern #53, and was home to Hal Jordan for a period of time. This version of the city is part of Charlton County, named after the comic company that published Peacemaker’s original adventures.
   
• Peacemaker pays the cabdriver by giving him one of his helmets. This means that somewhere out there, a taxi driver is cruising the streets wearing a Peacemaker helmet. Can you imagine what it would be like if Bloodsport hailed a cab, and this guy showed up?
   
• While Peacemaker was incarcerated, his phone accumulated 418 missed calls, 3,806 texts, and 2,376 emails. To be fair, most of those are probably from Vigilante.
   
• Vigilante’s voicemails tell you everything you need to know about him. He’s a superhero who can’t take a hint, and he is bad at being ghosted.

• Does John Economos just grab olives from the fridge at every house he goes to? Without checking the expiration date?
   
• During the trailer scene, Peacemaker calls Economos “Dyebeard,” which quickly gets on his nerves. Throughout the premiere Peacemaker does this five times, and each time John gets angrier. Watch for it.
   
• Peacemaker demanding a jetpack is actually an Easter egg. Throughout his comic history, Christopher Smith has taken to the skies in the name of peace on his very own jetpack.

• Peacemaker asks his father if he’s been taking Eagly out, which gave me a funny mental image. Imagine being one of Auggie’s neighbors, and watching this grouchy old man walking an eagle.
   
• I find it simply adorable that Eagly sits at the dinner table with Peacemaker and Auggie. He even laughs at Peacemaker’s anecdotes about Bloodsport. It’s worth noting that Eagly was voiced by the talented Dee Bradley Baker. This means that Peacemaker’s feathered friend has the same voice as Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb.
   
• The armory in Auggie’s house is amazing. Somehow that entire room seems to be bigger than the house itself. Longtime comic fans might recognize a few of Peacemaker helmets, including the awesome mohawk variant.

• The fake Peacemaker diary has a Wayne Foundation logo on it. It’s either a decal, or the Wayne Foundation has their own line of diaries.
   
• The revelation that Amanda Waller is Leota Adebayo’s mother is surprising, but it also has hilarious implications. This means that Amanda Waller could potentially have grandchildren named Octopussy or Sharknado. Just try to imaging the stone-cold leader of Task Force X reading bedtime stories to a child named after a notoriously bad cable TV movie.
   
• We need to take a moment to appreciate John Cena’s performance as he’s singing and dancing in his underwear. He puts his SOUL into that performance.
   
• The sonic boom from Peacemaker’s helmet not only obliterated Annie, but it also wrecked every single car in the immediate area. Can you imagine how useful this helmet would have been in Corto Maltese?

• Episode 2 begins with Peacemaker calling Harcourt, and apparently he’s listed as “Dumbshit” on her phone. I’m curious if she did that before or after his humiliating pickup attempt at the bar.  
   
• Everything about Peacemaker’s escape from the apartment building is a beautiful mess. For some reason he feels it’s important to steal Annie’s vinyl records (she won’t be using them anymore) and underwear (eww). Then he takes two people hostage in a clumsily awkward way.
   
• It doesn’t take long for Amber to succumb to Stockholm syndrome, but can you blame her? Her husband is Evan, who seems like he’s the worst, and her captor is John Cena. I’d probably fall in love too.

• According to John Economos, Bat-Mite exists in this universe, and I can’t stop thinking about the implications. Remember, this is the universe where Batman was portrayed by Ben Affleck. This means that the “do you bleed” version of the Dark Knight at one point had an obsessed imp dressed in a mini batsuit following him around, and that is awesome.
   
• While talking about his homunculi phobia, Peacemaker mentions Doll Man. Yes, that’s a real superhero and Peacemaker accurately described his abilities. Doll Man has the power to shrink while maintaining the strength of a normal-sized man. He was created by the legendary Will Eisner and was originally published by Quality Comics before migrating to DC.
   
• Let’s put things in perspective. Leota Adebayo doesn’t know to use WhatsApp without accidentally putting a personal photo in a government briefing. And she’s currently part of a black ops team tasked with saving the world.

• Peacemaker tells Adebayo that he has over 400 GB of adult entertainment, which is an insane amount of media and a weird thing to share with someone. For context of scale, my phone has family pictures and videos dating back to 2018, and it only takes up 60 GB.

• Adebayo may not know how to use WhatsApp, but damn if she’s the only member of the team who knows how to spell “Berenstain Bears” correctly.
   
• Peacemaker is probably the only superhero television series where a villain attacks a hero by throwing Cheetos at them. To be fair, I didn’t watch every episode of the 2002 Birds of Prey show, but I think it’s a safe assumption.

• Goff interrogates Peacemaker by torturing Vigilante, reasoning that Smith is a creature of empathy. If Goff had been watching these episodes, he probably wouldn’t have come to that conclusion.
   
• I hate to say it, but Vigilante is right about the importance of the pinky toe. A quick Google search reveals that running and walking become nearly impossible without it. Good thing Goff is bad at amputation.
   
• By the end of the premiere, five people have been killed in the name of peace. Let’s take a moment to remember Peacemaker’s one night stand, Goff’s wife, his two kids and his bodyguard. We’re not sure what the f—k is up with that butterfly that crawled out of Goff’s skull, so as of now we’re classifying him as alive. If you’re keeping score, Vigilante has three kills, and Peacemaker is tied for Harcourt at one kill each.
   

While I’ve only seen the same number of episodes as you have at this point, I think it’s safe to assume that number will be skyrocketing in future episodes. Or maybe Peacemaker will spend the rest of the series baking and playing Wordle…but somehow, I doubt it. Either way, you know I'm going to be there for episode four. See you there, Peace Pals!
 

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Joshua Lapin-Bertone writes about TV, movies and comics for DCComics.com, is a regular contributor to the Couch Club and writes our monthly Batman column, "Gotham Gazette." Follow him on Twitter at @TBUJosh.

NOTE: The views and opinions expressed in this feature are solely those of Joshua Lapin-Bertone and do not necessarily reflect those of DC Entertainment or Warner Bros.